Post-Modern Alchemicalism

Post-Modern Alchemicalism is the scientific discipline founded by Leopold Greenwertz inspired by the work of Richard Chemistry. The theories and nomenclature were first detailed in Greenwertz's 1846 book, Post-Modern Alchemicalism: Our Universe??? Greenwertz eloquently summarized the field after some 800 pages of useless gobbledy guck, "Where reasoning fails us, we must substitute it with real, hard science."

Major Elements
The foundation of post-modrn alchemicalism is its use of four basic elememts: Earth Wind & Fire and Surprise.

Earth Wind & Fire
Earth Wind & Fire, more than any other elements, have shaped human history. Most interesting, though, is the way Earth Wind & Fire interact with other elements.

Consider a reaction of a hypothetical element, Δ, with a glass of water. It is a well-known fact that water refracts light. Vertically. Therefore, if this triangle was compressed vertically, making it equilateral. What other triangle is equilateral? The Illuminati. The Illuminati.

When fire reacts with water, it becomes the Illuminati.

This is most important because Earth Wind & Fire is most easily recognized in the lan by its distinctly funky sound. This principle creates one of Earth Wind & Fire's most incredible properties: they can detect the Illuminati.

Additional information on Earth Wind & Fire can be found on its own page.

Quantum Superposition
The idea of quantum superposition as predicted by post-modern alchemicalism is very real. It states that any given object may or may not exist at any given instant. This is predicted by the mathemological manifold of wibbliness.